where did the art go

I have reached a point in time now where art has become almost non-existant. And within this is continues to fall into non-existence more and more each day.  What does it mean to be an artist. I look at art as a skill I have that I can use to assist and support myself and others as well. However there is a difference within myself now. That being I no longer care to do it. I no longer have inspiration to do it. No valid reason. As if before I had a reason to explore painting and drawing where now there is none. But Actually it is more that now I have reasons not to do it, justifications as to why I will not do it. Before I did not have a reason – I simply did it and explored – now…I do have reasons, only they are reasons why I should not do it, and they suck out any motivation I have to express through painting and drawing. Until I am left with only bitterness and anger. Becasue I can think of numerous reasons not to do art. And actually what is occuring is a kind of self destruction, self abuse modality of  application – self mutaliative – where I actually abuse mysefl with these reasons “not” to move myself. And I participate with these reasons, rather than expressing – why it won’t work – and why it is a worthless endevor. And the result…no art and anger, frustration, bitterness.  Failure.

Advertisements

One Response to “where did the art go”

  1. Thanks for sharing this blog Andrew and this particular note. I get that same feeling and I’m still unclear about finding reasons to do so – because I also find lots of reasons of why I see it as pointless –

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: