Writing Self to Freedom – Daily Writing – Oct 1 2010

Ok time for daily writing.

So today was day 1 of 21 days of Self Direction. I Started this application as a way to assist and support myself within this process of Standing Up and Standing Stable. The primary reason I ‘placed’ this point was to have a structural support which establish clear application guidelines from the perspective of before placing this 21 day application, I understood the point of applying myself in self honesty, and that within this I was beginning to develop some consistency though I continued to allow “moments of mind possession to take over” and thus have started this application to simply clarify for myself How I will stand, and what I will not accept in terms of actually placing a definitive decision where there is “no mistake” as to what I am doing, how I am applying myself, and the guidelines there-in. And so I walk 21 days of Self Direction. Within this One of the primary focus points is to STOP those moments where before I would allow “mind possession” these moments specifically I am referring to here are those ‘smaller’ moments or moments which I allowed myself participation within the mind due to not having clear definitive principles in place. I simply allowed a certain level of vagueness and obscurity to remain within me, which acted as a “back-door” or ‘vial’ with which I could in moments, quickly slip out of sight and into the mind.  So within this application my attention is Here with Self in every moment where I do not accept and allow myself to justify participating within the mind in those instances that I have clearly seen for myself are the mind, but had not effectively directed yet and continued to “slip into” thus within 21 days of Self Direction, I am taking those points which I have seen for myself as being “the mind” and I am Stopping, and I am simply remaining Here with and as myself as breath. As Silence.

So now looking at any big reaction/energy points I had today.

Was actually a fairly ‘even’ day. I got signed up to SRA again today, so looking forward to participating here again. It is a point that I stopped when I left the Farm. Though initially I attempted to continue with it, I eventually had to stop due to my situation requiring to get settled first. Over the last two weeks I have been getting my SRA stuff together and continuing with doing some sessions on myself. I kind of experience myself all over with the SRA, probably due to the fact that I have not been enrolled in the course and thus have not set guideline or direction in this way.

Anyways today I just organized a bit, and did a little of everything. I have been doing allot of that. Like doing multiple things during the day, spending a little time on each one.

I really feel like I have nothing to write tonight. Just cant get the flow here.

When I woke up, I experienced myself as being awake, I got up when my alarm went off and did not lay in bed as long as usual. Perhaps tomorrow I will take on the point of getting up with the first breath. Where in I open my eyes, in on breath direct myself out of bed and into the day, and not allow for that moment where I go ‘oooohhhhhh just 1 more minute’

I took some photos of my Art today, so I can place them on the Etsy Website. I place at least one item a day on there. I am testing out the principle of 1+1=2 where when one apply oneself consistently on a point day in and day out, eventually it will grow. So this has been an interesting process because I have yet to sell an Item. However the point is to apply myself within consistency, and continue to add one item a day, brick by brick by brick, and not go into points of energy in relation to this but to keep it simple, and based on principal of consistent application. I most definitely would have given up already before due to thinking and believing that my work is just not meant to sell. I mean now when these thoughts come up, I simply stop them, and see the point for what it is, it is irrelevant what thoughts and emotions and feelings come up in relation to this point, If I continue to place items consistently 1 by 1 by 1 eventually I will make sales. And so this is a cool platform to test myself in this application of applying self in consistency and constancy and slowly but surely compounding the point. And also it has been cool to see the reactions and energetic fluxes I have in relation to this point, like for example when I see that nothing has sold and the thought comes up “how long am I going to have to wait” and I simply do not participate, I mean for a moment I might go into the thought, but have been quite clear on what is energy and thought and mind, and what is principal. And thus simply stick to the principal and not the mind. So has been cool support in this way to. I Think I have around 30 Items now, or 25 or something like that. So I will just keep placing. This point of applying myself within constancy and consistency I developed since I joined desteni, particularly this point of understanding came through while at the Farm. And this now is the one of the first opportunities I have had to apply it here in the Matrix, from the perspective of applying the principal of consistency and 1+1+1+1…to support myself here in the real world. Pretty Cool. But that’s it for the writing.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: