Archive for the Self forgiveness – Purification Category

Self-Support To Move From Scattered to Stable

Posted in Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 23, 2011 by Author

Self-Support to Move From Scattered to Stable

I experienced myself a bit scattered today. This is often actually that I experience myself in this way. I had a few things to do today so this broke up my day and found within my day that I was not able to settle myself effectively and really establish myself Here within what I was doing.

So I am looking at this point of how to effectively stabilize myself within my world.

The first points which come up are:

1.Stop participating in the mind

2.Stick to simplicity

3.Stick to breath

With this first point I see that when I participate in my mind, where in I accept and allow myself to engage within the dialogue in my head, that I am not stable, and that if I were to actually Stop participating within my mind that I would actually be stable within my world, and be here, and be able to effectively assess my world with common sense and direct myself accordingly .

So I require to be more effective within this point of “stopping the mind” from the perspective of not engaging with the thoughts, pictures, emotions, voices, debates etc, but assist and support myself to remain Here and not participate with the “Back-Chat” that is the mind.

I see that my “Back-Chat” is fucking extensive, My mind is automated literally 24/7 and so if I am not Here and aware in every moment and supporting me to remain HERE and be HERE as myself as silence in each and every moment, Supporting me to exist here where there is no “movement” or “energy fluctuations” then it is the mind that is here as me as thoughts, feelings, emotions, as movements and fluctuations within and as self.

Thus I require to ground me. To Earth Myself.

So I see I must be more effective in actually supporting me to Stop my mind, and stop engaging in the conversations in my head.

Thus to support me,  I simply stop  participating with any voice, and thought, that exist inside me / within my mind, and that I must be ruthless within this, as to not allow myself to trick me into participating within the mind

Life for example how “positive thoughts” are fucking deceptive as these generally “feel good” to participate in and “seem harmless” but this is mind as a program and so to participate in these ‘positive thoughts’ one is actually supporting the mind, and in this case enhancing my own instability which I mentioned in the beginning of this post, from the perspective of “feeling scattered”

So this is where I am going to start to assist and support myself to re-establish my stability of Self, I am going to push the point of Stopping  Myself from Participating, engaging within conversations, thoughts within my mind. Where as soon as I notice that I am actually existing as a voice in my mind as Back-Chat as thought, and as soon as I notice that I am participating within an energetic fluctuation or movement  within me than I stop immediately, as I realize that this is my mind, and immediately bring myself back here.

And within this I focus on simplicity. And use breath as a stability point, by focusing on breath, my breathing,  to assist and support me to remain Here in the physical with and as my physical body, and not “up in there” in my mind.

New Job – Preparation

Posted in Business and Work, destni 'I' process, Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 19, 2011 by Author

Before I begin writing this I am going to remind myself here, that what I write, is me. And that what I write becomes me. And what I write becomes my inner structure, and therefore to effectively support myself by writing an inner structural support that Stand as what is best for ALL, and that creates a functionally effective human being within the context of what I am currently facing , what I will be facing and where we are going in process in terms of bringing forth equality, an equal money system, a world that is best for all, and a human being that is dignified, self respected, trustworthy, and self honest.

So today I met with my new boss to go over some details of the Job I will be doing this summer, which is Landscaping. I experience excitement and anticipation to “get into the swing of things”, and noticed all sorts of questions coming up inside me that really are only able to be answered in time as I walk the process of the job and see what it is all about, and see where I am effective, and particularly see where I will require to breath and support myself to strengthen my resolve in certain areas. I see one area where this will be required is “afterwork” as the job I will be doing I expect to be quite physical and thus one usually is quite ‘tired’ after work, and so may have to breathe in these moments to be able to continue effectively participating within my written work and desteni process stuff. Other than that I at the moment simply require patients and not get ahead of myself. So Just breath and focus on remaining here and not going into my mind at this stage and creating imaginary worlds of what all will happen in the future to the point of creating anxiety inside of myself.
I am looking forwards to the job, and also getting a more consistent routine in place and have money coming in.
We have a SnowFall warning tonight for the next day or so, so my “ Snow Removal” job may be going out with a Bang Here, or rather…A Flurry!

Equality Either Lives or Dies by Your Hand.

Posted in Business and Work, destni 'I' process, equal money system, Life Experiences, Self forgiveness - Purification, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 10, 2011 by Author

I see that I wanted equality to manifest, to happen, and then YAH it would be here, be accepted and then one would be able to expressive themselves within this point of equality. Yet I missed the point of “how it would get here” I missed the point that this is actually directly related to my participation. I did not see this, even though I have been told this before, numerous times, but this point escaped me, This point as the clear blue sky became clouded and foggy and I could no longer see this point but all I see is the clouds and the fog. So there is a momentary clearing here so I am writing this down as a record of what I see. I see that Equality is directly related to my participation and expression as equality. The equality that I see and have come to understand within my participation in process is a point which not many see, and this “Not Many” is less than what I even perceive I am sure.

I see that I was waiting for equality to come.
I see that I did not see myself as the one to bring forth equality.
I see that my direct participation with and as equality is directly related to if, when, and how equality emerge.

Thus if I hold back, if I wait, then equality sit there dormant. Why…My understanding is as follows.
Because people do not understand what equality is as it is being shared in process. Equality is not programmed, meaning it has no points to connect to within the current system. It has no place in the current system. Equality does not exist within this world as this world is this system which has no room for equality…why? Because equality will destroy the system. Why would anything make room for something that will destroy it. Lol.

This world is designed to make sure than anyone which support life and self expression feels inadequate. As they become inadequate in the system as that which they support is actually not a part of the system, thus it cannot connect to the system, they cannot connect to the system and end up with not system support, no money, no voice, and perceive themselves as inadequate.

So yes I see that I had “sat back” and was waiting. Waiting for more people to come forth and support equality, not considering the point that these people do not just “come forth” but that they must be ‘gotten’ meaning, would I have even realized the point of equality if I had not see a desteni video. Unlikely as I see that the context that desteni presented was not something that I had herd anywhere before. It was as if the entire context of Desteni was “out of this world”

Equality is not pre-programmed but must be a self-directive Act. Meaning nothing is going to come to me and say “Hey please talk to me about equality” or I am not going to suddenly stumble upon some ‘outlet’, out there in the system that is a match for my equality ‘plug’ Essentially I see that I and that we within the desteni process are the source of equality and thus it is not “out there” anywhere. We are the very edge, the very outside ripple of equality expanding through our self will and self direction into an ocean that has never touched equality before.
Like giving birth to equality if those that stand for equality sit back and wait, then equality also sit back and wait.

I have yet to take an “active role” in bringing forth equality by introducing it to others, yet I now see that if I do not introduce it, if I do not bring it forward and place it into someone’s life, they will never see it. They will never have the opportunity that I had when desteni place themselves into my world through by placing the website and placing the videos.

It seems difficult at times when my entire world do not understand equality, but it is common sense that if I sit back and wait…that, because the entirety of my world is not aware of this point, that there is no point within my world that will bring this point of equality into it. Thus I cannot wait for it. I am the point within my world that must bring forth the point of equality and the emergence of equality is from this perspective my responsibility. The question is. Why do I give up and give in on this point – Do I really want equality in my world. Am I really willing to do what it takes to bring this point forth into my world so that equality does not only exist within my bedroom! But exist also in my household, my world environment, etc. If I do not ‘spread’ equality than thats it, it stops. ‘Spreading’ Equality is not preaching equality. I cannot convince someone of equality, but I can ‘introduce’ it to them. So that is the point I see. That I am able to introduce equality into my world. And that within this context, Equality either Lives or Dies by my Hand

Anxiety Demon – Shoulders and Back Pressure

Posted in Business and Work, destni 'I' process, Life Experiences, Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 5, 2011 by Author

I had an interesting point come up today. I could see today that I was experiencing quite a bit of anxiety. I could immediately identify that yes I was experiencing this anxiety but was not able to pin-point exactly why, or what was the point or points that I was working with/ dealing with.
So this energetic possession I experienced moving within me was quite prominent, and I did experience myself being possessed by it as I was not able to relax. This was quite strange because there was not “real reason” why I would be experiencing this point today. From a certain perspective it seemed out of context, that is why it was so odd. Firstly because it was out of context, and secondly it just kind of came over me…in fact if I look I see that I was experiencing this point when I woke up this morning.
I have been busy lately and having to direct and move many points so I can relate this energetic anxiety to this, though even in looking at/investigating these points today in relation to this experience I was having, it had no affect on this energetic experience take over. I experienced allot of pressure in my upper upper back, in my shoulders. This point did not “move into a headache” as it often does, but rather I experienced a compounding build up of pressure moving into, and in a way being stored in my shoulders which created quite a pressure and pain and strain there. It was a heaviness there also and a tenseness, so like this anxiety within myself accumulating and building up and sitting in my upper back shoulders area.
Then at around 9 oclock tonight the point released. I do experience still traces of this , though I experience myself as more relaxed and actually able to stop. As one of the characteristics of this energetic possession I experienced today is not actually being able to stop. Its like I am stuck on auto mode and I just do stuff, though am not able to be here, and to stop. Its like I am unable to stop myself.
There was one specific point which I did eventually get to tonight at around the time I experienced this energetic point release, which was the point of writing some content for my website, but in assessing my daily activities today I did not see that I was suppressing this point, but that I would eventually get to it, which I did, though here, to simply consider the point of am I able to be more specific with myself and that as I move within my process I will require to become more and more specific within myself and within my self-direction.
The content I did eventually “get to” around the time the energetic possession point released had to do with sorting out basically the “money aspect” business I am developing. I had some reservations and uncertainties about facing this point as I did not know exactly how I would place the content and also see a point of ‘doubt’ or ‘inadequacy’ within this point I was facing where I saw myself as “not equal to the task”. The task being the service which I will be offering in the business and more specifically the money that I would be asking for it. As the service alone I am confident of, it is when money gets involved that I start to go into a reactive state.
I see that I did “create the point” to be ‘important’ where I gave it a certain value as I had actually feared it and was uncertain about it so was in my day often looking at the point and so from this perspective building it up and so experienced some nervousness towards approaching it, but also wanting to get it moving as well.
Ok well that’s all for tonight.
Andrew.

Environment Changing me is Not Actual Change.

Posted in destni 'I' process, Life Experiences, Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 18, 2011 by Author

I was looking at the point of what we as human beings require consequence to change. Or why we has beings, as individuals require consequence to change. Now the reason I place it this way as I have noticed this point within me where I rather than actually will myself to change my nature I rather let it play out until I hit a consequence which will then bring me to a point of actually making a ‘serious’ consideration to change my application, my participation, my nature, my behavior, myself. I place the work ‘serious’ in quotes because even though when there is a consequence I must face which then “push me” to consider change ‘seriously’ I see that I have/had not yet gone deep enough or taken this point seriously enough because what I find is that I don’t actually change. But “forget about it” until the con-sequence come around again and it is the same point over again.
So no matter how hard I look or take seriously the point of change, I end up forgetting and back to the same ol’ patterns. And even saying to myself to watch out for forgetting because I have been through that before, yet end up forgetting.
When I left the Desteni Farm I was a different person. And what I have found is that since being back in Canada I have really faced myself. Because now from a certain perspective I am in the “Matrix”, lol, that sounds so epic, lol.
So Here is how the story goes. I create myself within and in relation to and along with my environment for 26 years. Then, I am taken from that environment and placed into a completely new environment on the Desteni Farm. Then I start to apparently change which is all fine and cool, and I spend two years in this new environment and experience myself differently in that for this two years I participate within the world not like I had previously. Ok cool so now there is some “change occurring”.

Then take me out of this new environment and place me back in my old environment and what do you suppose happens. I go back to how I was living before – So what does this show me. That I in fact had not changed. From a certain perspective there was a process of change occurring but within looking at the point I see that this was more of an external change where I was more changing in response to my environment as a kind of from the outside moving inward kind of change. So when the Environment changes then I change, seeing as how the “Change” I experienced on the Desteni Farm was largely from the outside in.

I mean if would have taken a point on from the very centre core of myself and changed, more from the perspective of changing me from the very starting point of me…well not “from the perspective of” but rather had actually in fact gotten to the very beginning of me then it would not matter where you place me, and what environment I am in as the change that would be occurring would be from the inside out, and thus the change would be actually be a Self Change.

So in many ways this is the point I am seeing with regards to how I have attempted change and that no matter how serious I am about it that I always end up forgetting, as the change is more of an idea and the one Key Factor I see that I am missing is Knowing who I am and actually living and existing as myself here within breath. Because if I am Not Here, then how is change supposed to happen if I am no where to be found, how then am I supposed to change.

So from a certain perspective the point I am busy with now is not “changing” per se but rather ‘getting to self’ and being here with self, living and walking that self in every breath, so I can actually walk a point of change. And all it takes is one second and one moment to flee, to abandon myself and off into the mind, and actually not even realize it.

I noticed even today I was not Here, yet I was almost Here – lol. Because when I am Here, I know it, but today there exist within me this “point off in the distance” like “what is that” and so I go just looking out over there, just trying to see what it is out there, and in this slight diversion I miss ME all day. So specific.

FREE PARKING and FREE TRANSIT to Cities with EQUAL MONEY SYSTEM.

Posted in Crimes Against Humanity - In the News, desteni equallife network, desteni income plan, destni 'I' process, Life Experiences, Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification, Structural Resonance Alignment, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 15, 2011 by Author

Free Parking For ALL.

I don’t think so, though with and Equal Money System, having to pay for parking will become obsolete as paying for parking is just another way the government enforces fees and fines onto its people as a way to siphon as much money as possible. This is due to the way the way the current capitalistic system is set up and functions around the world.

What happened to “flow of Society” meaning a system which actually support the ‘creativity’ and ‘functionality’ and ‘expression’ of the human being the society and the world.

There was an article in the local paper today discussing the new amendments to the structure of pay-parking within my city. Nowhere was there any discussion or consideration of making parking free for the community nor any indication of the government even being aware that it is in fact possible to do this.

Why not just make parking free – Within an Equal Money System there will be no need to pay for parking nor will there be a need for all the other various fees and fines around the city that are set up to suck money from the people at every corner – Literally as this can also be seen in traffic cameras placed at each corner/intersections to fine speeders which has very little to do with safety and more to do with making more money.

(Traffic fine revenues which totalled $36.4 million in 2010. The total fine revenue for 2010 is broken down as follows: $18.9 million – officer generated enforcement citywide; $10.9 million – photo radar and $6.6 million – speed on green.)

I mean the way a society is set up is quite startling when one see it is like one big vacuum which is designed to just fucking suck the money out of the pockets of the people.

Obviously this is necessary within a capitalistic system.

And paying for parking is one of those methods. Also paying for transit.

Within an Equal Money System the point/requirement to ‘generate’ money to live will be eliminated and thus along with it all the points which in fact inhibit our functionality and expression as a being on this earth, which are solely placed to generate money.

Don’t you find it strange that one must require to have money to live in this world. I mean look at this point, it does not make sense. A plant or a tree does not require money to live, it simply lives, it grows. The necessary requirements for the plant or tree exist is given unconditionally!

In our world we have taken what occur naturally and imposed a fee on it. I mean you do not have to pay a baby to grow. It is a process which occur naturally – Though what we have done is imposed a system that in fact Suppresses this natural growth, this natural expression of life, as we have Placed and Structured Money in such a way where you Require It to facilitate the best possible growth of yourself as a being on this earth, where IF you have money you are able to have a home, and clean water and good food to eat, so that you grow effectively and your physical is supported, and if you do not have money you are not able to have these things to support/facilitate your natural physical expression. Now that is completely fucked up.

Thus one can look at an Equal Money System from the perspective of it being more like how nature operate where the necessary survival points are “given automatically” rather than have to be paid for. Like for example Sun. I mean as humans we require sun to survive it is a basic physical requirement, just as we require water, just as we are unable to stand outside when it is below freezing without proper material support, ie: Jacket – The simple points which support our physical expression.

At the moment our system is set up where these points are not unconditionally provided but rather one require money first, and that not all have access to money. Thus within an equal money system all will be given a “Basic Income” in so that they can acquire the necessary basics to grow – food, water, shelter, etc…

Within an Equal Money System the Design of money will be re-Designed there will be new “rules” so to speak as to how money will function.
It will now simply exist as a unconditional point, like how the sun unconditionally give enough energy for all to grow. Money is the point at the moment which we use to facilitate our movement within this reality and buy our basics of life. Thus within an Equal Money System money will be designed so that it is an unconditional point and issued to all equally. It will be administered equally and unconditionally as we recognize that all require the basic physical points to Live and Grow, such as food, water, shelter, and that at the moment money is what one require to get these basic ‘survival’ points otherwise their expression is suppressed and will ultimately die if they do not have it – So to say some can have money and some can’t
is absolutely deluded and show the lack of ‘love’ that actually exist in this world. It is in fact playing God and Denying LIFE, I mean what kind of God do you want to be – One that Denys life to some and allows it for others – what a complete fuck up – Or a God that give to all life equally and nurture all points of this existence. Thus an Equal Money System is a System which facilitate the expression of life to all equally so that all have what they require – Not how the current system which is in place as the capitalistic system works, which is in fact a System that Deny Life to Some, and allowing it to others.

Suggest to get on board with an Equal Money System as we require a system that Nurture Life, not Deny it. We require to re-create ourselves as Gods which which provide for all that is here and not just for part of what is here

http://www.equalmoney.org

Investigating What it Means to Be Here and to Be Self Present.

Posted in desteni income plan, destni 'I' process, equal money system, Life Experiences, Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification, Structural Resonance Alignment, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 13, 2011 by Author

So I was looking at this point of “slowing down” today. Also the point of how I only have so much ‘tolerance’ to do certain tasks for only so long and then eventually I have to take a break. I have been noticing that my attention span is quite short in that I often “take breaks” and work in “bursts of energy”. What I understand, and am working on correcting is not to apply myself within ‘energy’ which is clearly being indicated that I am doing, seen within requiring to take frequent breaks or only having so much ‘tolerance’ or ‘focus’ to perform a task. Instead of rather applying myself within a point of constancy and consistency where I remain stable and consistent in ones application so I do not crash, or run out of energy or existing within jumping back and forth between the two polarities of getting lots and lots done and then going to the opposite polarity and get absolutely nothing done. Rather I am exploring this point of Consistency as to direct myself into and as an application that Stands, and that doesn’t crash every few days, as so far this has been the case.
I have always considered myself to be disciplined which to me meant being able to “get tasks done” and not giving into laziness. Though at the moment this “way that I have always considered myself” is not coming through, but rather only existing as a hope at the moment instead of a living application.
So one aspect within exploring this point of how to direct and apply myself in my world so I stop ending up in the “crash” is the aspect of slowing down. So what do I mean exactly by slowing down. One dimension of this is “not rushing” interesting I have written about this point quite a bit and yet here I am again writing out the point again. I find this point of slowing down to be one of the coolest points of my process actually because of the moments where in I do actually apply myself within this point of slowing down, and how I see the absolute power that exist within this point of slowing down and remaining here. It is a point of Self Presence where one is Completely Here in what one is doing, and so for myself have found this to be a point or thee point which I see would really support me within my world, within this reality, and within process.
I also see that I have gauged my day where in there is only so much possible within a day, and that from a certain perspective I see that I attempt to do waaayyyy to much, and then there is this “holding my breath” that takes place as I move through my day not wanting anything to interrupt me or get in my way because if I step of track for even one second then I won’t be able to get everything done – I see that this is not Self Presence and Self Here and that this is not supporting me to become effective in my day.
So I require to direct myself in such a way that I have ample time to direct each point as if comes up and remain effective and “up to date” within the system where the bills are paid and I am feeding myself properly and things like this. I remember in art school and when I used to make lots of art work that I would eat not very much. And that today as well at the end of the night I was starting to feel hungry and realized that I was in fact neglecting this food point and not effectively feeding myself because it just takes to much time and I am attempting to “save time” by not eating as much or by eating out. So Even Here I see this as a problem and that I should not be within such an application where I am trying to “Save time” as this is indicating that I am behind and within an application of energy instead of just being here within breath.

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