Archive for direction

Self-Support To Move From Scattered to Stable

Posted in Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on March 23, 2011 by Author

Self-Support to Move From Scattered to Stable

I experienced myself a bit scattered today. This is often actually that I experience myself in this way. I had a few things to do today so this broke up my day and found within my day that I was not able to settle myself effectively and really establish myself Here within what I was doing.

So I am looking at this point of how to effectively stabilize myself within my world.

The first points which come up are:

1.Stop participating in the mind

2.Stick to simplicity

3.Stick to breath

With this first point I see that when I participate in my mind, where in I accept and allow myself to engage within the dialogue in my head, that I am not stable, and that if I were to actually Stop participating within my mind that I would actually be stable within my world, and be here, and be able to effectively assess my world with common sense and direct myself accordingly .

So I require to be more effective within this point of “stopping the mind” from the perspective of not engaging with the thoughts, pictures, emotions, voices, debates etc, but assist and support myself to remain Here and not participate with the “Back-Chat” that is the mind.

I see that my “Back-Chat” is fucking extensive, My mind is automated literally 24/7 and so if I am not Here and aware in every moment and supporting me to remain HERE and be HERE as myself as silence in each and every moment, Supporting me to exist here where there is no “movement” or “energy fluctuations” then it is the mind that is here as me as thoughts, feelings, emotions, as movements and fluctuations within and as self.

Thus I require to ground me. To Earth Myself.

So I see I must be more effective in actually supporting me to Stop my mind, and stop engaging in the conversations in my head.

Thus to support me,  I simply stop  participating with any voice, and thought, that exist inside me / within my mind, and that I must be ruthless within this, as to not allow myself to trick me into participating within the mind

Life for example how “positive thoughts” are fucking deceptive as these generally “feel good” to participate in and “seem harmless” but this is mind as a program and so to participate in these ‘positive thoughts’ one is actually supporting the mind, and in this case enhancing my own instability which I mentioned in the beginning of this post, from the perspective of “feeling scattered”

So this is where I am going to start to assist and support myself to re-establish my stability of Self, I am going to push the point of Stopping  Myself from Participating, engaging within conversations, thoughts within my mind. Where as soon as I notice that I am actually existing as a voice in my mind as Back-Chat as thought, and as soon as I notice that I am participating within an energetic fluctuation or movement  within me than I stop immediately, as I realize that this is my mind, and immediately bring myself back here.

And within this I focus on simplicity. And use breath as a stability point, by focusing on breath, my breathing,  to assist and support me to remain Here in the physical with and as my physical body, and not “up in there” in my mind.

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Auto-Andrew and being Half-Here

Posted in destni 'I' process, Re-Creating Self and this World with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 20, 2011 by Author

I was reading some blogs just now and then half way through one of these blogs I realized “oh, I am not actually reading this blog” Have you ever noticed that with yourself when your only “Half Here” when you are reading something and just skimming through it.

What A fuck up. I mean if I am going to read something I may as well actually read the thing, no point in just skimming over it to “get it done” which was what I was doing. I also wanted to write this blog, and was separating myself into multiple places at once instead of being completely Here within the single point I am directing.

So first I will right this then, go back and read, and give myself the proper time and give that which I am reading my complete attention so I actually do read it, from the perspective of not separating myself into multiple places at once but being Here with myself as I read.

Interesting that this way of only “Half Reading” something has become so normal that I don’t even notice when I am doing it from the perspective of not realizing or seeing that I am in fact not really reading but just skimming my eyes over the information.

Another point that has been ‘bothering’ me today is my typing skills. I have been typing quite sloppy in my typing and not directing each finger to hit each letter in its correct placement but rather letting the hands just kind of type the words by themselves which cause me to have to go back and make many corrections, so rather thus, Be Here in typing. And Direct each letter as I type. So just some corrections in reading and typing to support myself to Be Here within my world so that it is Me Here in Full Awareness Directing myself so that I am not just running on AutoAndrew

 

Fuck I even noticed this “AutoAndrew” today also while driving, and I mean that is when accidents happen, when one is not completely here and completely present with self while driving. So noticed a few instances of this today where I have become ‘accustomed’ to a certain experience of myself, that I have come to accept. However this ‘experience’ which I have become ‘used to’ is not such that I am Here and fully present, directive and aware of my environment or myself. So I must flagPoint this.

 

So the point here is to identify / flagpoint this “normal self” which has become the dominant self in my day to day activities, and to assist and support myself to Stop myself from existing on auto pilot or only being half here, and assisting and supporting myself to identify when this occur and to stop and correct myself from the perspective of ensuring I am Fully Here, within and as Full Self Awareness in the Moment. And ensure that it is me here that is moving/directing my body, and that I am aware of my each and every movement, and each step that I take and make sure that I am the one taking each step and that I am not just on auto pilot. So to assist and support myself to become aware of each and every movement I make within my day, and make sure I am HERE within and as each and every movement/moment. And within this Stop participating / living in the mind, as thoughts, daydreams, pictures, emotions and feelings. And support me to bring through Me as Self Awareness, Self Presence Here in each and every breath. So that a New Me Emerge who is Actually Self Aware and Here in each and every breath and who directs oneself in the best interest of ALL.

 

 

My apparent problems not actually Real.

Posted in Life Experiences, Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification, Structural Resonance Alignment, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 6, 2011 by Author

So over the last week, I basically stopped applying myself and gave up on myself for a moment allowing myself to go into a form of depression and existing in the mind. Allowing myself to believe that this depression and “way I am feeling” actually has power over me and there was “nothing I could do”. Though I see now that this is not so – In one of the recent desteni videos I watched, the point was mentioned of how people who are homeless don’t have the luxury to have addictions as their world simply does not permit it as they are forced in a way to just focus on survival and do not have time to entertain addictions or such points of self interest. So this is the point that came up today as I was looking at this point. I realized that my application of depression and giving up myself was simply not valid as it really was only considering myself. I had given power to this application of “being depressed” and believed that there was nothing I could do to get out of it. As I simply did not have the will to direct myself within my world to do the necessary actions to support what is best for all. “Well how convenient for me”. Having food, internet connection if I want it, warm bed, movies to watch, house to live in, all of this, and there are millions dying this instant because they have no food to eat or basic support, and here I am not willing to support because I have some “emotional problem” I mean take away my food, my home, my car, my internet, my basic support, then I will have a real problem. As along as I have the basic physical support, food to eat, place to sleep, I have no excuse for why I am not applying myself in every moment. If I am unable to find the will to do it for myself, then I do it for those that are starving to death right now, as this is what I would want if I were in their shoes, for those that are actually capable of applying and directing themselves in this world to do so to support those that at the moment are not able to. So in Self-Honesty if I dare utter the word, it is obvious that I was only living/existing in Self-Interest, and not actually looking at my Actual self-honest experience/situation of me where really there was nothing but my own self created/accepted emotional problems standing in the way of me directing myself to support what is best for all. In other words, there was really nothing standing in my way at all. I guess though I was judging myself quite a bit, and was/am dealing with layers of emotional shit which actually becomes a physical experience of self, but I mean in asking the question of if I am doing all I can do to support and direct myself the answer is no, and that it is clear that despite who I believe myself to be, I am still physically capable of supporting much more effectively than I am at the moment. Ok.

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