Archive for unconscious

Having a Closer Look at my Day – Desteni Process Blog

Posted in Business and Work, desteni equallife network, destni 'I' process, Life Experiences, Re-Creating Self and this World, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 26, 2011 by Author

I woke up to my alarm this morning at 6am…I got up and looked out the window to see if it had snowed. It had not so this meant I did not have to go out to work, which I was not expecting anyways. So I got back under my warm covers telling myself it was only for a moment. I laid there and allowed the point of possibly falling back to sleep all the while attempting to motivate myself through thinking to get up and out of bed. I eventually got up at 6:45. I experienced anger and guilt. But not allot, where I find the longer I sleep in past my alarm then the more anger and guilt I experience, depending also on where I am “in the cycle” meaning if this is a repeating point then I tend to become more angry and have more guilt. Ok so I was up and was a bit angry with myself but not much I can do about it now.
I don’t see, or have found that I am not able to “forgive myself” for doing this, because that would be like trying to forgive yourself “after the fact” for doing something instead of applying forgiveness in the moment to support self to push through a specific resistance. The correction for this point as I have I am sure mentioned before is to simply stick to the alarm and stop allowing myself to short change myself when I see I am capable of doing something.
On my way to work this afternoon I decided to stop and get a coffee which I often do when going to work, I noticed as I pulled up into the parking-lot that I experienced a little electrical experience of excitement rising out of my stomach and into my chest area, like one of those “sparkler thingy’s” that you light and they fizzzzzz and shoot off bright sparks all over. This was definitely a positive charge from the perspective of maybe possibly seeing someone that I might find attractive working or being in the cafe, so it is like this aspect of relationship still existing inside of me which “pops up” in moments because I can see that this seemingly small electrical charge that came up is actually connected to the relationship point and sex point.
As I walked towards the cafe from my van, In one moment I lost my footing on the ice and nearly fell but adjusted my feet in time to catch myself before I fell. I experienced my ‘ego’ come up immediately and showed me how extensively I was/am existing within my ego personality from the perspective when I slipped I experienced embarrassment as now my ‘image’ of who I was in that moment existing as completely shattered, as in that moment I was cool and collected, and serious, and professional, and precise and surely do not slip on the ice and flail my arms all about to try and re-gain balance. So it was a physical movement point here to in how I move within my specific presentation. Such a fuck up as the “Flux” I experienced as movement as embarrassment was quite allot from my perspective which indicate the degree I was not Here but rather existing as an ego, and I am seeing to also how this become more prominent as I go out in public. Upon entering the cafe I experienced immediate relief within myself, like a point of inner relaxation come over me as I noticed it was a male working the till, as I experienced fear that there may be an attractive women working the till. This is actually quite an odd point. Ok so I experience excitement within myself that I might encounter an attractive women. But then I go into fear over this point to the degree where I tense up and am no longer myself at all, and then when seeing it is a male working the till, I completely relax and am able to “be myself” otherwise I would just be this robot locked in fear if it were an attractive women. So yes obviously this point requires specific direction so that I no longer have this reaction at all to women but rather get to the point where I am not longer controlled by this point but that I am directive, here, myself, with no matter who.
I Got my coffee and went, I did not tip, felt a slight negative charge, guilt, what will they think that I did not tip.
Coffee was perfect. I was pleased and looked at the person who made my coffee thinking he is experienced at his job and is stable in making the coffees and so got a cool coffee.
When I got to work I again experienced that slight excitement within rising from my stomach into my chest, this was due to a worker that I have not yet met but only know of and wondering if today maybe I will meet this person and what she might look like. So same point as before, relationship and sex. In these moments I simply breath and do not go into the point. Sometimes I go into it but I realize the point is to simply not, to breathe and just breathe and support self to remain here with and as self and stop all participation in energy, this is the understanding that I apply.
You know, what goes up must come down. I am seeing this point now as well within my writing here from the perspective of writing from and within the starting point of energy where in if I build up all this energy to write a blog and then launch myself into it, it is like this rolling ball of momentum until the energy runs out and then the blog is over. Rather I see the point of being constant and consistent within the point of writing where I support myself by not accepting and allowing myself to go into energy when I write as what goes up must come down. So within this I can support myself in my process as I do much writing and have been exploring this point of remaining Here within and as the physical as I direct myself within my world and in this case writing as a way to be more consistent and not “burn out” all of the sudden.
So will be cool also to just expand this point and identify all the moments and points within my world where I access energy and to stabilize myself here by rather than moving within my day within and as energy, I direct myself within and as the physical and stick to the physical and breath as I walk. It is quite interesting to see how extensively I have existed within energy in my life as I always considered myself to be “more stable” and not so much energetic but am now seeing that I live much of the time within and as energy, and so to step out of this “existing as energy” has been cool, and from a certain perspective has only just begun. This entire reality is based on energy, on positive and negative and so will be pretty cool to see how it goes in terms of walking the process of “stepping out of energy” from the perspective of being directed and moved and influenced by this but rather where one direct oneself Here as Life as the practical consideration of what is best for all. So it is a change in principle so to speak, from the principle of directing myself according to energy, to directing oneself according to what is best for all.

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Process Update – Managing My World. (3 Stories)

Posted in Business and Work, Life Experiences, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 3, 2011 by Author

I am definitely within an application of “avoidance” at the moment, and allowing my mind to direct me. This morning I slept in until 7am when I planned to get up at 6am, though within me last night I can see that I “was not up for it” and believing 6am was to early as I was quite exhausted last night. And so I ‘intended’ to get up but overslept my alarm. I experienced guilt immediately upon waking as I started doing a 21 days 6 hours sleep process.

So when waking I went into a point of guilt and noticed also that I was “less directive” in my day, as I was in a way, allowing me to remain ‘stuck’ in this energy of guilt and slowness. Like a point of “I have failed”
When if I practically look at the situation, I mean it was 7am instead of 6am, practically speaking that will have not “great affect” on my day, and it is more practical to let go of the point and start directing myself in that which I require to do today.

I saw that I allowed the point of guilt in a way as an accepted experience of self when I “fail at something” or “fall on a point” – Though the energetic experience I was allowing was not related practically to my reality but more on past experiences of guilt as what I noticed is that my day is Still Here in front of me, and so pointless to allow me to exist in this point of guilt, like making a big point of nothing really.

Its interesting I see that I within this point have allowed this very initial starting point of the waking up in the morning determine the rest of my day, instead of me being the starting point of me in every moment here, where in any given moment, I can correct self, instead of locking myself into a cycle where I have to wait for the next opportunity.

I remember on the farm I was faced a few times with the point of experiencing a point of depression, and that I could allow myself to exist within this point of depression, and regret, or I could Stop, and get up off my ass and apply myself within my world.

This is the point that I saw this morning, where I realized that I do not have to exist within this point of guilt or depression which was “triggered by sleeping in” Fuck that, I can Stop, and correct myself and start applying myself in my day.

Last night I met with an x-girlfriend of mine who I had been in a relationship with for 8 years and who I broke up with around the time I started with desteni.

So was interesting to sit and chat last night as I had not spoken with her for couple years now.

I noticed that I within the discussion I experience quite a bit of paint in my upper shoulders, back and neck as we communicated, so see a point of straining myself and clenching myself within during our communication last night where I was accessing points of mind within our interaction and within communicating. So interesting to see this tension and pain come up immediately within starting to communicate with this being.

Its like a point of “really wanting to get a message though” within which I tense up my entire back and shoulders. And even a point of not trusting my expression, communication, words to communicate effectively.

Like wanting her to agree with me and see and understand my words and affirm what it is I am speaking about.

Though overall the conversation/discussion was quite cool.

Another point that occurred yesterday was that the point of doing “furniture assembly and delivery” for the furniture shop I am currently working with opened up.

This is quite a cool point and can see there is some excitement within me towards this though , I am also experiencing a “straining” within this excitement I experience, like “what if things don’t work out” so it is like two adverse points manifesting a strain within me.

So basically yesterday within discussion of possibly expanding my duties at the furniture shop, I inquired if “they have a delivery service” because I had noticed that there are usually a few items in the back waiting to be picked up by customers and most often these items are smallish – and so wondered if “there was a market for this” in where why not I “Offer the service of doing the delivery” as I at the moment have a van and so can fit in some smaller items for delivery.

So I discussed the point some with the owner and she said she would pass along my number to clients, and also recommend me to clients who require small furniture delivery.

So this is quite exciting because I see here another opportunity of taking this point on as a business, of which I can do furniture delivery and assembly. So I have done some research today on the point and this seems very realistic so am going to take this point on, as I also see that this will not simply “end after winter” like the “Snow Removal Service” but can actually walk this point and develop this point for a longer period of time.

So now I am at the stage where, I see this point and am exceeded, yet must breathe as reality only move so fast and thus must take this point on “practically” and “common sensically” and like the “Snow Removal Business” There are points of uncertainty with regards to money, and how/if I will manage the point of getting this going.

I also got a call yesterday which I have not yet returned about, would ya know it, doing “furniture assembly” lol – I actually had found a job application online doing this and inquired about the point which funny enough, opened up inside of me the point of inquiring with my current company about offering my services through them. Lol,

So this is quite funny as this is similar to what happened with the snow removal service where I initially “began the point” by browsing through jobs, and going for a job interview, and then within looking at the whole point deciding to simply “do the point for myself” instead of “working for others” doing something I can actually do on my own.

So I am sure I will update later to indicate/show, what’s working, and what not, and the type of specificity and application required to ensuring that these “businesses or service offers” are practically functional. Though for now will keep it simply and keep it physical.

My Relaxed is NOT Relaxed- Realizing I have a Fear of People

Posted in desteni equallife network, Life Experiences, Re-Creating Self and this World, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 27, 2010 by Author

An interesting point came up today. My roommates left on Christmas holidays and so now I have the whole house to myself. Some people were supposed to come and stay here though, they are not here yet and I don’t know if they will show up.
Anyways, after some hours of being here in the house alone, by myself, with no people, no roommates, and knowing that they will not be back here for at least a week, so just me with myself alone in the house, I noticed something interesting.
I was calm, I was relaxed and I was actually enjoying myself.
Was quite fascinating to see this, because what it revealed and showed to me was that in fact “I have a fear of/towards people”
I definitely was not expecting this point, where all of the sudden I realized, “omg, I am actually relaxed” compared to ‘stressed’, ‘tense’, ‘irritated’, ‘anxious’ and simply not able to relax and be me.
I noticed that when my roommates are around, I experience myself as stressed out, and its interesting because over the last few months, I could see this point of “being stressed” all the time, but I though it was because of money, I did not realize to the extent that my experience of “being stressed” over the last few months was actually “being caused/triggered” through having my roommates around, or simply people in general.
I had actually completely accepted my experience from the perspective of when I would relax and watch movies here at home while my roommates were around, that I believed I was relaxing, and had accepted this experience of relaxation, not realizing until now, that in fact I was holding onto a point of anxiety/fear/stress, that I had become so accustomed to it that it became a part of my definition of relaxation.
I also noticed today that I was actually enjoying myself, this due to the point that I could move freely in the house without fear that someone would suddenly show up, and then I would have to restrict my expression once again.
And this is one of the points I am seeing within my experience at the moment, that I completely limit and restrict and suppress myself around others, even if they are upstairs doing there own thing, and I am down here in my room doing my own thing, I still “tense up” and am not comfortable, and relaxed.
So was quite interesting to see this point, as I had not realized how fucking rigid and tense I was over the last few months, which is in relation to this point of “fear of people”
So I will have to take this point on, as to remain within this point of suppression around people is essentially a point of killing myself literally, as me, as I simply suppress myself and exist within a very limited parameter so as to not offend or intrude or cause any friction from others.

And so I spend all of my energy “being aware” of where others are in the house, and how they might react if I do this or if I do that. I see the point is to allow myself to be as relaxed and comfortable with others as I am with myself, as I see this point now which I have not in quite some time, of me actually “letting go” of the point of “holding myself” within a specific presentation, or attentiveness when other people are around.
I also painted today with oil paints which I have not done since getting here to Calgary. I painted because “no one is here to be offended” if I “try this out”
I can move where I want in the house, which is this little room that “the guy” who owns the house, built and put in a ventilation system, to make “silk screens” – its just down the hall from my bedroom and no one ever goes in there, though interesting connection that today was the first day I actually went in there and tested out painting.
I painted a self portrait, and really enjoyed it. I was satisfied with the “technique” I used as I tried something a little different. Though the proportions of the face could have been more specific. All in all, it went pretty cool, I spent maybe around 2 and half to 3 hours painting it.
I did the painting as a “preparation painting” for another piece I had in mind, though wanted to first “get warmed up” so painted a self portrait.
I have also been busy creating some designs for a women for t-shirts. I have been using Adobe Illustrator and have quite enjoyed getting to know that program, so have had the opportunity recently to do some more art which has been cool.
I don’t see art the same as I used to. And so am still busy “placing the point” meaning, it is a point that “Kind of just sits there” and I try to ignore it but at the back of my mind, I am always like “keeping the door open”…ahhh, thats it! I am “keeping the door open” on painting /art. Though there is a chance that “nothing will come of it” .
When I left the farm 7 months ago, I was coming back to Canada to do art, though things changed as I “entered the system” so to speak. There was no point in “trying to do this point” meaning, trying, and actually making my life more difficult because of not “taking care of” the practical side of living in this world, like making money and making sure my rent, and food is sorted out first.
In the past I would just ignore everything and painted in my studio, and this was not a good recipe for living in this world. I am enjoying now “trying other stuff” and doing different jobs that I would have “despised” doing before. Though I am looking at the point at the moment of “me actually holding myself back from doing art when I have the opportunity to” So am pushing myself to allow me to still do art in my life and is not something I have to completely cut out. Ideally I would like to “work it in” so I can actually “build on the point” and have it be supportive, both as a point of self discipline and specificity, and also as a point of self expression, though my priority is “the desteni process” which is actually simply a point of common sense of seeing that “this world requires some direction and some sorting out” and that it is each and everyone’s, thus, my own responsibility to do this, and so am busy with working on my application to that we take the most direct route to sorting out this world, which at the moment I see and understand to be establishing and Equal Money System – thus, this is my priority and focus.
Art is a personal preference and I do not accept and allow myself to place me before all of humanity and all of existence, thus I stand firstly as What is Best for ALL, I Stand as the ALL and direct What is best for all, in my daily living application, not what is only best for me.
So if I do art or not is irrelevant. I will continue with the point as the opportunity to do so is here, though if I require to let the point go, I will.

Responsibility and Obligation coming through in DREAMS about Quiting my Job.

Posted in desteni income plan, equal money system, Life Experiences, Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification, Structural Resonance Alignment, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 5, 2010 by Author

I am going to write about a dream I had last night. I haven’t yet been ‘through’ this dream in detail, so will see what comes up here.
This is in relation to my experience over the last two months with regards to the job I held at a “Horse Ranch” which I simply could no longer support from the perspective of the “point of abuse” I experienced in relation to my position or role in the system they had going there to keep everything moving as well as how “I was being considered” from the perspective of “what I was responsible for and how much money I was being paid to do it”
So I decided to no more continue with the job and go back to finding myself another job. I sent an e-mail last Monday making it clear on my position and that I would no longer be continuing work there.
Though last night at about 8:00pm I received an e-mail asking me to work the next day. I was not pleased as I had already let this point go, and this e-mail showed either a continuation of the manipulation I observed going on before, or that they simply never received the e-mail.
I at first felt ‘obligated’ to work the next day as if I am the one who was responsible for the situation and that I must work, as it is my responsibility to see that all communication is clear, understood, and clarified which it obviously was not as something was missed.
I e-mailed explaining that I had already sent an e-mail, I then re-explained my position and asked them to confirm that they did indeed receive this mail by sending me a return mail. I received nothing and by that time it was already around midnight so did not want to phone.
So I looked at the point and decided that I would not go. Though I felt extremely guilty, I decided that in this case it is there responsibility as well to ensure their system is running, where in fact here they were not specific within communication waiting until the very last minute to contact me, and thus I help my initial point of deciding to no more support “the system I found myself in while working there”
I wondered if I was even going to able to sleep because of the experience I was having inside my self of the obligation I felt to work for them to no leave me hanging, though not considering my own standing on the point and not allowing guilt to influence the decision. The next morning I after I woke up which I deliberately slept in so that I would not have to face the point if I were to wake-up early, so I slept in, as well the night before watching movies as an attempt to distract myself from this situation.
Seeing now the importance of ensuring ones communication is always clear, direct and received, otherwise if one leave points hanging one end up in experiences like the one I experience last night, as well as which come through in my dreams as I slept.

The Dreams as follows.

There were three scenarios.
Each one the same from the perspective of “morning arriving” and me showing up ‘late’ to the farm to see if someone had “taken responsibility” for where I saw myself as having “left them hanging” so experienced much guilt.

In each of the scenarios I was actually living on the farm, so basically was right there and able to work, though in real life, it is an hour drive out to the farm, and at the moment my vehicle has a spare so did not want to minimize the driving.

So in the dream I approached the barn, and began to peer my head around the corner to see if anyone was in the barn, I experienced allot of nervousness. In the first dream there was someone sweeping the barn. So they had found someone to give direction to the point, I experienced a sense of relieve. It was a women/girl and I walked into Barn I bit hesitant that I would be “looked down upon” or “get in trouble” or “seen as irresponsible” as I approached the girl she had no reaction what so ever. And was actually quite friendly. She actually was a bit new at the job so I offered to assist now that I was there in. So we both worked together to direct the animals and duties and I experienced a point of flow, no friction or animosity or resentment.

The second dream was the same in how it started, and it was a girl there tending to the duties that i had perceived myself to have “left hanging” and now had to face. Only this time it was the girl that usually works there, I said hello, and she said hello as she was sweeping the floor then suddenly you could hear anger and resentment coming through in her voice as she began to attack me. This was actually the reaction that I feared inside myself upon approaching.

And this is one of the points that in real life I observed within this girl, this point of anger, resentment sitting there below the surface waiting get out, waiting for someone to take it out on, and obviously was in by continuing to work there setting myself up to be that person. A point at which her father was already utilizing within communication with me, showing absolute enslavement to his own inner frustrations, blame, and anger, and taking them out on me because “I worked there”

Within this entire experience a point that is now coming through is that I must trust myself in these things I see “under the surface” and not simply ignore them.

Also in the dream there was the other guy, Ricardo who worked on the farm and he came walking around the corner and I felt guilty. He represents that point of Responsibility, and always “doing the right thing”

So I did not want to look him in the eye because in a way by me not showing up meant that he would have to take up the extra slack, and that he was already overworked.

So it was quite a dream / experience.

I was ‘startled’ in the morning of how I received an e-mail of no more than two sentences basically saying “ok, sorry I missed your e-mail, good luck in the future” something along those lines, which the event in itself lasted all of 30 seconds and that was it. There was not some “big explosion reaction consequence” that I was expecting or feared to have happen. So seeing here how I completely went into the mind on this point specifically linked here into the point of “Obligation” and “Responsibility” being the two primary points I am seeing that I am looking at here.

Other than that, I sent out two Job applications today

One to a Dog Walking Company
And
One two a “water filtration company” looking for a part-time graphic designer.

In terms of the Dog Walking, well for both of these jobs for that matter, I am going to take my time. Meaning not simply jump at anything that comes up, but get to know the people individuals I will be working with and ensure that I can actually walk the established time frames with these beings. And not ignore any “red flags” that come up.

Like for example a company offering Dog “obedience” – I mean what the fuck – lol but also “walk the point” meaning actually discuss these points with the company to see if my ‘perceptions’ remain or if they were actually just points I created in my mind without any real reference point.

Though I mean at the desteni farm and from my perspective you create an environment for your animal so that they can simply live here in support on this earth as well. Its not about making a Dog Obedient, as your slave, thats fucked up Ego Shit. I mean calling your Dog is straight forward, and developing communication with your Dog cool, but anyways that word ‘obedience’ triggers a “master/slave” point inside of me.

Otherwise, I am still here.
In my world, and am busy looking for work and jobs to earn money for myself.
And actually start generating money so I can actually move in this world, instead of always making just enough so that I can survive and break even every month.

Facing My Programming – Wanting to Run – Seeing I Can’t – Oct 25th 2010

Posted in desteni equallife network, desteni income plan, equal money system, Life Experiences, Re-Creating Self and this World, Self forgiveness - Purification, Structural Resonance Alignment, Writing Self to Freedom - Daily Writing with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 26, 2010 by Author

Facing My Programming – Wanting to Run – Seeing I Can’t

So a pretty cool point here has opened up over the last three blog posts about my experience with my new job on a Horse Ranch. I wrote about some of the experiences and resistances that have been coming up and got some pretty cool feedback which basically assisted me to see that I was actually justifying the whole point of actually attempting to hide from these resistances, as if I could actually hide from them. As if these resistances are “out there” that if I were to go somewhere else that these resistances would go away, and that the very fact that I was experiencing these resistances meant that I was in the wrong place, which is actually as I now see it, A “neat and tidy” excuse to simply attempt to run. So the point I see here is that there is no running, that I cannot actually run from this point, even if I tried, I would be back at this point again, and simply would have to face it. I see this from the perspective of the point actually existing inside me as me. And thus, within standing up for and as equality and what is best for all, I will actually face these resistance points, which I see as the design of myself, as who I have accepted and allowed myself to become and create myself as and who I am as myself as the programming I have given myself throughout my life through that which I have participated in and agreed upon either tacitly, implied or directly.

What is fascinating about his point is how superbly the mind create a perfect picture, and reasoning as excuse which lay down the perfect road for one to take to escape the situation. It just “seems to make sense” It just seemed to make sense that I was in the wrong place. That really there was nothing I could do about the situation I was facing, about the resistance I was facing, and that oh yes, it is the right decision to “let the point go” I mean the wording of the excuse is exquisite, deceptive. It just seems like “the truth” I have found this to be a pretty cool example and point for me to see how the mind work.

I faced this same point on the farm, and I walked away from a certain perspective. Now what is fascinating here is that I am facing this same point again, and in a way the experience of myself is much the same, yet the context is different, so how could it be that my experience is exactly the same…this indicate that the point I am facing, is actually a point within me. It is not dependant on the environment so to speak. The point actually exist inside me as my own creation of myself as how I have programmed myself.

So I am going to get into some of the specifics here a bit. The two points that are coming up here is family, and commitment. Where in one of the points I noticed I reacted to in being on this farm is the point of family, from the perspective of “having an idea of how this would be” and also I see that in fact, I had really just projected these “family points” and my ideas around onto the situation and was not actually based in real walking assessment of the situation. Though Either way, it is irrelevant from the perspective of me making a decision to walk the point, where in if they turn out to be what I perceived and projected them to be does not make it in any way valid in that it still is simply an idea, a construct, and the point I see is about “how I react” to the situation, where there can be no reaction what so ever. And that as long as there is a reaction, I here am required to correct the point within me, until I can stand in front of any being, and mother, father, brother, sister, grandma, any point within the construct of family, and not longer react, but stand in silence.

I see that I did/do not trust myself yet in actually being able to effectively assist and support myself within this walking of this point. I feared the point, and saw myself as bending and breaking under the pressure, instead of actually relieving the pressure within applying the tools that desteni has provided for this process, in self writing, self forgiveness, and corrective application, and utilizing the techniques provided in SRA, as well to actually take on my programming, and no longer accept and allow “pressure” meaning, any kind of pressure I experience is pressure I place on me, and that it never come from “out there” somewhere, and that I will have to be able to walk into the storm so to speak, and assist and support myself in walking through the points within disarming them from the perspective of seeing how and where I am still in reaction. And that I am responsible for every iota of reaction I experience inside me.

So the point here is to actually trust myself within walking this point. So step one is to trust self within standing up. And now here is step two, which is self trust within walking, moving and directing myself. Where in a way, walk alone, and that one must realize that one is alone in it all. And establish trust and self at this level, where one walk alone, and one is Ok to walk alone, into any point, and not require something or someone else to depend on, to hold onto, one must simply let go of all dependency, all want, to have someone or something there with, and to establish trust for oneself in walking as self alone into eternity. I am beginning to see that everything that self holds onto will be taken away, because self must learn to trust and walk as self alone. Until there is stability, silence, acceptance and the realization that self do not need or require anything actually. So from this perspective this point that I am facing is a “long one” it was like a “long road” and I did not establish myself as actually being able to walk this “long road” alone. I mean, eternity is a long time, but I will start with just taking one step, then two, then walk a point as myself alone, and now here, in looking at this long road, realizing that I am actually capable of walking this within self trust, I simply had not yet considered doing this. So that’s pretty cool point, and in a way can ‘prepare’ for this, where I can assist and support me to establish myself within this point and realize also that the process must be walked alone. And here is simply a real physical timeline to support me to establish myself within walking alone. And now its time to trust me as the starting point of self trust within walking. Obviously there are beings on the forums and so forth to assist and support within sharing themselves within their walking, so in this way we all walk together. Though I see here the point of one establishing themselves as self reliant within being able to depend and rely on self alone, and not actually requiring anything else than that. So cool point of self trust and self walking here.

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